#22 Dysphoria
How does it feel to disconnect
from your own skin?
To look at yourself and say
“This body is not mine”?
To see the traits you were born with
and know they weren’t for you?
It feels foreign, and wrong.
It is a being unfamiliar to you
despite having known it your whole life.
To want to escape your own body
and replace it with one that feels right
Is the greatest dream of some.
How does it feel when someone calls you
the wrong name?
You’ve told them time and time again
the right name
the better name
and they know.
They know that name, and refuse to use it.
How does it feel when someone
refers to you with the wrong pronoun?
They know what is right
they know what makes you comfortable
And they ignore it.
It feels like you’ve gone numb
and you have lost all trust.
They don’t make an effort to better their ways
and it’s a dagger in your heart.
I walk the world, open and out
to the people of the universe.
And the ones that care most
are the ones who know the right words
and use them.
I have ones I love dearly
that disregard me every day
and I’ve lost touch.
How does it feel when someone
shows they care?
When someone has the right name
the right pronoun
respects the struggle with your body?
It feels like they hung the sun
just for you
and you know, truly know,
who cares and loves you greatest.
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