#15 How forgiving are you
when a friend lets you down?
Friends
are supposed to have your back through thick and thin, right? So why is it that
every time I need them, they aren’t there? When my dog died when I was six, I
had no one to console me at school. When I got sick and had to stay home for a
week in eighth grade, no one was there to bring me homework. When I get too
stressed to function and my sanity starts to slip, I have no one to talk to in
an attempt to relax.
The
funny thing is, I’ve had friends. I’ve had the same friends since I stepped
foot into an elementary school. I guess I was a filler-there to take up space
and fill out the group. None of my “friends” seemed to actually care about me,
and it became even more evident as we grew up. When we were old enough everyone
was getting into relationships and offering advice and setting up dates,
whereas I was barely handed a tissue when I needed one during allergy season.
Organizing
my thoughts like this should be a wake-up call that makes me say, “Oh hey, I
should drop those friends and find some new ones”. But it won’t. Because I’m
the kind of person that clings to the routine, and my friends were one.
Dropping them now and trying to find new ones would put somewhere cold and
unfamiliar. I had already established
myself in a place cold and distant, but at it was familiar. Just not in a
friendly sort of way.
A lot
of people ask me how important trust and support is in a friendship. I simply
answer that I’ve never been able to find out.
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